Despite voter fraud being a victimless crime, it’s a controversial issue. Many even believe it to be wrong. While I am not one of those people, I can see why someone would have this incorrect opinion.
For those unaware, voter fraud is the act of intentionally misrepresenting one’s vote, in order to sway an election. This illegal act can be achieved through casting a fraudulent ballot, voting multiple times in the same election, altering voter count, voter impersonation, ineligible voting, and voter intimidation. Freedom fighters who commit these acts of rebellion are at risk of imprisonment or being fined, the amount or duration of such punishments varies by state.
My stance on the issue delves down to the belief that stupid people shouldn’t have as much voting power as I do. So, my big brain realized, why not just vote enough times until it’s even? I think I’m a really smart guy; so smart, in fact that my vote is worth at least 12 normal people’s votes.
I personally have committed this so-called “crime” many times. Despite being underage, I’ve voted in several elections across the country. You’re welcome, Zohran Mamdani.
Many disagree with my political stances, but if I stick to the proper voting legislation, how will America become the next Great Communist Nation? Just something to ponder on.
Some may say if everyone engaged in voter fraud, then elections would be pointless and lead to the fall of democracy. To that I say: I am not everyone. A special guy like me is allowed to bend the rules a little bit, while a not-so-special guy should stick to his one vote limit.
That is why I have decided to expand my influence. If you also desire to expand your constitutional right to vote multiple times, then you’re in luck. I am now offering to take any young voters under my wing. Voter fraud is not just for the rich elites, anyone can participate. If you wish to engage in voter fraud on my behalf, here are some helpful tips:
-Only vote for candidates who have my endorsement.
-Pay someone to vote for your preferred candidate.
-Vote on a dead person’s behalf (John Lennon is getting ready to vote again).
-Vote underage, just because you haven’t taken civics yet doesn’t mean you shouldn’t participate in government.
-Don’t just wait for national elections, you can commit voter fraud even on the local level.
-Try to vote at least as many times as you can count.
-Register to vote wherever you can, no piece of land should be deprived of your ballot.
-Assist others at polling sites, many confused individuals make the mistake of voting for the wrong candidate, help them cast their ballot mistake free.
Regardless of your opinions on voter fraud, I think we all can agree that I should do it.
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