Dear Simone Says,

I have been struggling with a Pokemon GO addiction for the past 19 years of my life. I keep finding myself in and out of jail. I want the cops to stop pressing me.

Dear Pokemon GO Fein,

I am so sorry to hear about your frequent run-ins with the law. Although you would like the cops to “stop pressing you”, we cannot get in the way of the law. 19 years is a long time to struggle with a Pokemon GO addiction. Have you considered finding resources to help with that addiction? We advise you to write a letter to Pikachu and see how he feels about your current situation. You should consider pausing your Pokemon GO bender, to help ensure that you are not forgetting things for weeks. You should also consider taking anger management classes to help with your issue of crashing out whenever somebody bumps into you. Please contact us if you get a response from Pikachu!

Yours Truly,

Simone Says